1. When night falls, and the children and husband are all sleeping, slip on black clothes, bundle up the stupid laundry, tip toe outside and simply shove it over the fence into the neighbour’s garden.
2. Don’t bother training your pets to ‘sit’, ‘step up’, ‘jump!’ etc and other useless tricks, train them to do the laundry.
3. Place all dirty washing in the big wheely bin outside.
4. Stuff all dirty laundry under the seats in the car.
5. Send it to the nearest Salvation Army shop and wait for them to wash it and put it on display. Then, simply buy it back.
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6. Hide your dirty laundry inside an outfit to make laundry people (one for each member of your household), then set up a tableau vivant in your front yard so all the neighbours can see what a happy family you are. Add a pre-recorded soundtrack for added effect.
7. Don’t bother dressing your children. Paint them instead.
8. Bury your secret stash of chocolate/alcohol/erotic literature in it. You know you are the only person in your household who acknowledges the presence of dirty laundry.
LOL! Eloise – #7 could also be achieved by not bathing said children…if they are covered in grot, who will notice (or get close enough with the smell) to notice they are nekkid? Love your work, Mrs B, love your work!
9. “Accidently” add dye to your load instead of detergent. Preferably black. Save on laundry brighteners and whiteners. Spend on a foot massage instead.
Haha! Love it, Eloise!